Arborless Bending of Steel Tubing (Prospectus)

Introduction

Conventional bending of round tubing requires a form, called an arbor, around which the tube is bent, by means of a forming tool called a shoe. Both the arbor and shoe are shaped to enclose the tube, which assures that the tube retains its circular cross section throughout the bending process, preventing cross section ovalization and buckling.

However, the arbor creates undesirable constraints on the process, which prevent the conversion to modern, quick-changeover, flexible manufacturing. The arbor tooling and fixtures must be changed each time there is a change of tube size or bend radius. This is a major task, which shuts production down for an extended time. Large production runs are required in order to spread the cost of tooling changes over a large number of parts.

In addition, specialty bends, such as refrigeration coils, do not give access to the tubing, due to the closely spaced fins around each tube. The arbor is therefore a smooth cylinder of the proper radius. Although the fins provide some support to the tube cross section, an arbor is still required to achieve the desired bend radius of the coil.

In an arborless bend, major tool changes would be eliminated. Ideally, a new program would be downloaded to change the bend radius, bend angle and tubing size for an automated machine. Lot size could be as small as a single part. Or, several different bends could be applied in sequence to a single part. Overbend requirements could be built into the controls to account for springback.

The objective of this thesis is to define the boundaries and necessary conditions to allow an arborless bend with a pure bending moment load to provide the desired geometry, while avoiding unnecessary ovalization and without allowing buckling to occur. A boundary will be established by a defined critical bend radius and bend angle combination where buckling will occur within the 90° final bend radius limit. A variety of tube diameters and wall thicknesses will be considered.

In order to define this boundary a laboratory system has been assembled which places a pure bending load on a tube. With this system and the associated controls, we are able to produce a pure bending load that will create the desired geometry. By bending the tube to a radius that buckles the tube, we can see what factors are associated with that buckling. Using this data, the equations put forth by previous researchers, which relate the buckling moment and associated curvature will be verified and a failure boundary for the machine will be defined.

Background

Based on the basics of the mechanics of a material in pure bending set forth by Datsko, a better understanding of the maximum strain to failure can be understood. Also from Datsko, it is established that the ultimate engineering strain (εu) is equal to the exponent m in the true stress-strain equation. This allows us to find the maximum bend radius based on failure due to the ultimate strain. Datsko also dictates a more descriptive notation for the stresses and strains in a system where strain in all three dimensions occur. (Datsko 1966)

Calladine’s additions to the subject include establishing the equations for the critical buckling moment, curvature, and strain for a part considering both the bifurcation point splitting the tube that fails at one main buckling point versus corrugated buckling at multiple points. (Calladine 1974)

Brazier observed that buckling at a single location on a tube corresponds to a certain point on the moment-curvature plot. This behavior is called the Brazier Buckling phenomenon. He also established equations to predict the ovalization displacement along the cross section and the process of finding the maximum point on the moment versus curvature plot. This point defines the point where buckling occurs. (Brazier 1927)

Korol showed empirically that Brazier’s work was valid by using a moment-curvature plot of Korol’s data to show where buckling occurred. (Korol 1978)

K. Pan and K. A. Stelson cite Von Karman’s research in establishing ovalization occurring because of a continual change of direction of the forces parallel to the center line or neutral axis. (Pan and Stelson 1995)

Finally, P. Cheng of MIT published a thesis on pure bending and compression bending of tubes containing support structures within the outer shell of the tube. Her discussion of pure bending is invaluable for this project, as it not only brings much of the previous research together on tube bending and buckling, but she also corrects some of the ovalization equations set forth previously. (Cheng 1996)

Although pure bending of hollow structures has been covered theoretically by Cheng and others, none of the research described above has been applied to an arborless bender designed for production. Empirical data must be established in order to know where the moment-curvature buckling condition occurs in relation to the arborless machine setup. Ovalization of the tube in this configuration needs to be understood along with moment-curvature values in relation to the bend angle. Through empirical data, as well as mathematical models, these relationships will be investigated and a theoretical and empirical failure boundary for arborless bending will be established.

Research objectives

The objectives of this research are to establish the following:
• An empirically based buckling failure boundary for arborless bending processes, based on the desired bend radius, desired bend angle, tube diameter and wall thickness.
• A theoretical model of the ovalization and buckling of the metal tubes as pure bending is applied. This will be a model of the stresses and strains occurring within the tube at the time of buckling as well as throughout the bend.
• A theoretical model of the buckling failure boundary similar to the empirical boundary above. The model will include the parameters of the bend process itself and show what conditions will occur within the machine at the failure of the tube.

Proposed Research

The approach to finding a valid buckling failure theory will be based on both empirical data and theoretical models. The empirical model will be established by testing a number of different bend angles and radii. As a tube is bent to the desired geometry, the buckling mode will be noted as well as the bend angle at which the buckling occurred. This bend angle will be the boundary for this specific radius. Repeating this process with many tubes and bend angle verses radius combinations will produce an empirical failure boundary.

Another factor that will be studied is the effect of the desired final bend angle to the system. The distance the clamps are positioned apart through the bend depends on both the desired bend angle and the desired bend radius. These will affect the buckling as they will change the clamp separation.

The theoretical model of ovalization and buckling as a result of a pure bending moment has been mostly established by Calladine, Brazier, and Cheng. These models need to be applied to the arborless forming process at hand, which will require a study of the models to extract the terms that apply specifically to loads caused by pure bending. This process will lead to a theoretical model designed specifically for the arborless bending machine. Once this model has been established, we can apply the instantaneous curvature at each angle to this theoretical model to determine a theoretical failure boundary of the system.

The steps to merging the theoretical and empirical data are to first follow the guide of Datsko’s strain equations to understand the strain in the critical region and establish an empirical criterion for buckling using this method. Then, bend tube at decreasing radii until buckling occurs. At that point find what angle buckling occurs for each bend radius. Follow this process with different tube diameters and wall thicknesses. Finally, compare this data with the information gathered from the strain equations and show the compatibility.

Equipment

An arborless tube bending machine has been provided by the BYU capstone program and their sponsor, Burr Oak Tool Inc. The control system was built by Kevin Cole. The machine is controlled by a feedback control loop using a compact RIO controller, which is run with LabView and a desktop computer. The system controls three motors. In the center of the system, an AC gear motor drives the angular displacement of the bend. Two linear actuators clamped to the ends of the tubing make up the rest of the control. One of these actuators is fixed to the table and the other is on an arm whose angle is controlled by the motor. As the arm moves through the bend angle, the control system changes the linear actuators displacement in order to keep the neutral axis of the tube at its original length. The continuous clamp adjustments keep axial pressure from occurring and allow the system to apply only a pure bending moment to the tube.

Readings from the machine will be taken by the computer in two forms. One form will be purely visual. A web camera is attached to record the visual angle at which the buckling occurred. The data acquisition system records the current to the bend motor, which will provide a discontinuity when buckling occurs, and which will be tied to a time and angle. Using geometry, the angle can be related to a curvature and the critical bending moment will be detected when the current becomes discontinuous. The data will be gathered into the LabView control system set up by Kevin Cole and will provide the necessary information to compare the empirical data to the theoretical model to see if the model is valid.

Collaborated Efforts

This project was started in 2007 as a BYU Capstone project with an industrial sponsor. Kevin Cole has put many hours into the control system to get the computer to read the correct information, control the motors, and keep the neutral axis load free. Dr. Ken Chase has developed the equations for keeping the neutral axis at a constant length as the angle changes. Complete results will be shared with Burr Oak and the operational arborless bender will be shipped to their site, except for the computer and other components belonging to BYU.

References

Brazier, L. G."The flexure of thin cylindrical shells and other ‘thin’ sections." Proc.
Royal Society Series A no. 116 (1927): 104-114.

Calladine, C. R. "Limit analysis of curved tubes." Journal of Mechanical
Engineering Science 16 (1974): 85-87.

Cheng, Phoebe. Weight Optimization of Cylindrical Shells with Cellular Cores.
Cambridge, MA: MIT, 1996.

Datsko, Joseph. Materials in Design and Manufacturing. Ann Arbor, MI: Malloy Inc.,
1977.

Datsko, Joseph. Material Properties and Manufacturing Processes. New York, NY:
John Wiley and Sons Inc., 1966.

Korol, RM. "Buckling of circular tubes in bending." Journal of Engineering Mechanics
ASCE 104 no. 4 (1978): 289-290, 939+.

Pan, K., K. A. Stelson. "On the Plastic Deformation of a Tube during Bending."
Transactions of the ASME 117 (1995): 494-500.

Carburetors

So here is my story. I thought I should tell you all about my work on my motorcycle. Last week I worked from 11pm-2am (taking off the gas can and cleaning the filter stuff) Friday night and then again from 9am-2am Saturday on my carburetors. Due to an absolute miracle and some good food/fuel throughout the day from Mom and Holly, Andrew and I were able to pull out, clean out, and reinstall the carburetors. You all should have been there at 2am in the morning when we fired it back up and it actually worked! Thanks Andrew for helping, and Mom and Holly for feeding and Mike for letting us use his garage! Hopefully I will be able to tune it all up this week and it will work good as new. Here were a few of the highlights I sent to a friend of mine who knows about bike repair. If you have any suggestions give me a call!

Questions:

• Where do you hook the manometer up? I can see where you tune it, but what pressure is being checked?
• Is the nozzle that i am missing something that would be in a carb kit? (see below) Without knowing what it is I couldnt tell if the kit has it.
• Could the idling problem (see below) be due to unbalanced carbs?
• I need a manometer set up
  

Biggest problems:

• Stripping the brass screws everywhere and turning them in to flat head screws-i ended up putting in almost all new steel ones.
• Figuring out how to get stripped screws out without a clamp (I had my brother put all his weight down on it and they broke with a wrench)
  
• Finding replacement (metric) screws that would fit right-the heads were almost too big
• Putting the carbs back in and aligning them with the hoses and stuff took nearly 3 hrs because we didnt know what we were doing.
• I am missing the little nozzle at the base of the gas jet (the middle jet). The pipe thing with the holes in the sides is still there, just not the screw thing at the end. It was missing before I even opened the carb.
• It actually runs! (YAY) but now maybe worse than before? It wont idle at all or even coast to stop signs with the clutch down.
• I'm probably missing some others...Andrew, do you remember?
  

Unschooling

As I have just graduated and received what some call a diploma signifying completion of a “higher” education I would like to put down some of my thoughts on the subject. As some of you have tried or considered homeschooling I write some of this specifically to you.

I have a pretty typical love-hate relationship with school that I believe most of you can relate to. I love the social aspects, I love the discovery, and I love the feeling when I finally figure something out that is terribly difficult even if I can’t brag to anyone about it. Unfortunately to get there I have to deal with the daily busy-work homework, droning teachers, over-pressured schedules, and a lot of topics that I could care less about. Really, is it worth it? Couldn’t there possibly be a better way? There has to be options out there to the regular public education system…we are a consumer society and need options for everything, yet even homeschooling is schooling and elective courses are still courses. The option presented in the attached website may not be the best alternative, but it does give a pretty interesting case study that should be looked at.

This is where you stop and read the linked write up (http://tinyurl.com/cs2gyg)

Here are the issues I see with this:

He makes the comment that “You develop deep peer relationships around areas of common interest, (using the unschooling program) once you're allowed to explore and discover what those areas of interest are. And the Internet and online gaming allow you to make those relationships anywhere in the world, to draw on the brightest experts on the planet, and to communicate powerfully with like-minded, curious people of every age, culture and ideology.”

Is that what we really want? Is that good education? I would submit that a large part of education and learning is true, real, face to face communication with individuals of all different backgrounds. Why do you think colleges hold diversity in students as such a high classification when judging applicants? My stake president a month ago is quoted to say “Facebook and texting are not the Lords way (of communicating, building relationships, or dating,) Face to face communication is what the Lord wants.”

My theory is that people only get weirder as they get older and it is mostly due to their narrow focus. Children’s minds are so diverse. With age comes a narrowing of scope and the narrower the scope the weirder they are. Look at some of the physicists dad works with. Look at most of the students in the engineering building, the music department, accounting, business, or English classrooms. Narrow minded people become stereotypically weird. They are “those” people. The only way to avoid this is to diversify your knowledge and continue to learn many new things.

I do not want to just shoot down his ideas though. I think he may be on a very good track here. We do need some sort of change. We should be more excited about our schooling. Students should want to learn and should be taught in subjects they will be excited for. This leads to my next issue.

I have discussed the issue of public schooling with a number of my roommates. We talk about public schooling as a student factory, driving production of students and bringing the average education up. The issue is then that everyone is at the average and few excel. The suggestion given in the attached essay is the same given by my roommates (one of them actually sent this to me) which are to teach what students are interested in learning and ignore the things they are bored of. The idea is that when a student wants to learn how to build a rocket the teacher will explain that there is lots of hard math involved and that they need to get started now in order to understand it. In the mean time lets learn about art, English, and tell stories from history which have such a small learning curve that we can dive in to them right now. OK, so I am exaggerating a little, but this is how I see it actually happening. Students will only learn easy things. The hard math and sciences will be lost.

I learned a lot in the public education system. I learned more than just to read and write well. I learned the math and the science right alongside good people skills and, in college, religion. These “extra” subjects helped round me out and make me (hopefully) less of a stereotypical dry boring engineer. I won’t say it was perfect, there are plenty of problems with it, but it has worked for me. I might even say it has worked well for me. Thanks, mom and dad for giving me this opportunity to become a more contributing member of society.

Lark Ascending

Imagine yourself sitting at the top of the hill. It is late in the afternoon and everything is quiet. As you look out you see a single lark ascending from the ground cover. It flies up, catches the wind for no apparent reason other than to feel it under its wings. It glides in place for a minute then lets the wind take it away as it stalls and begins a free fall descent. This view draws your attention further as the lark shows you the beauty of the vista with its village and pasture lands and mostly its cerulean sky. This is the imagery of The Lark Ascending by Ralph Vaughn Williams. Its peaceful, simple melody unquestionably and beautifully describes this view through uses orchestral voices, imagery tactics, and skilled usage of modernistic effects mixed with a twist of folk music.
I loved the music performed by the symphony orchestra at BYU where I first heard this piece all the way through. Williams did an excellent job of depicting a beautiful scene using the lines from a poem by George Meredith as his guide:
He rises and begins to round,
He drops the silver chain of sound,
Of many links without a break,
In chirrup, whistle, slur and shake.
For singing till his heaven fills,
‘Tis love of earth that he instills,
And ever winging up and up,
Our valley is his golden cup
And he the wine which overflows
to lift us with him as he goes.
Till lost on his aerial rings
In light, and then the fancy sings.

The listener can quickly understand the violin to be the instrumental voice used for the movement of the lark. In its introductory few measures it trills and slides through a graceful melody and grows throughout to its highest trill. The image is a lark landing on branches with each cadence takes short little flights up in the air and then back down, landing again on this branch or another. As the tonal center changes so do the branches he lands on giving a sense of the natural. It seems random yet there is structure in the chaos. The bird in the vision is seen ascending to a stalled position as the wind holds it steadily gliding in place until it falls to back to the branch once again. This is clear through the natural speed ascension of the melody to a trill which then falls quickly back to the current tonal center. Natural trills and swells then continue the depiction of the simple rise and fall of his flight.
The second voice is that of the rest of the orchestra. The orchestra shows a beautiful view of the pastoral landscape with its villages and fields, hills and trees, and that ever present blue of the sky. “‘Tis love of earth that he instills” shown through the passing of the melody here. The orchestra comes in at the times when the lark seems to disappear, yet really our focus has just changed. We now see the beauty of the scene because of the larks influence. We watch the lark fly high into the sky through the 8va trills on the violin and then are pleased to view the rest of the scene. One time we see the sky and hills and trees through a broad open melody from the orchestra and a second time we see the village and pastoral lands through a folk sounding melody using the same orchestral voices. Each time though we are brought back to the lark as the soloist violin comes in midway through the orchestra’s melody and builds until the listener’s focus is back on its flight.
This effect is an impressive one to pay attention to. Williams was able through his music not only depict a scene, but take that scene and zoom our focus in and out as if he were using a computer. The main focus is on the lark, but at times that lark’s melody is used to show the scenery behind. The times the soloist is playing alone on stage are when sole focus is on the lark, and the view is zoomed in to just his flight. Other times a general idea of the backdrop is in our minds through a gentle hum from the orchestra, and finally the music takes and zooms out of the scene completely to show a full view of the valley, yet in doing this the view nearly loses the lark until attention is brought back to it.
Williams wrote this piece just before the First World War. It was a time in music when things were supposed to be different and you were not to follow the prescribed plan laid out by prior musicians. Williams followed this advice from his contemporaries to a certain extent. He did not keep a strict tonal center throughout the piece, but as mentioned before, this was for the purpose of depicting the natural randomness that happens. He did not keep a normal meter either, but was able to still put a beautiful, peaceful, and most importantly for the topic, easy to listen to melody together. This is due to his melody choice, but also to his use of these effects correctly. He borrowed themes from English folk music as well as their pentatonic scale giving the piece a naturally peaceful feel. He also was able to blend the orchestra in such a way as to bring this peace to its listeners.

The Mifferules Blogs

As the years spread my family apart physically we have decided that we would make every effort to continue to stay close. One of those efforts has been communication through the internet. About a year ago I started a family blog (the “Mifferules”) that we have all kept up. It is a place that we can post all of the fun things and pictures that we have to share with each other. My parents put up a calendar each month with all of the birthdays and special events and also do little competitions for the kids. My younger brother and I who are both at BYU put up pictures and tell stories of the fun things we are doing here, and my older siblings talk about all the fun things they are doing as a family. It has been a very good thing to help knit us together. The only issues we have had so far include making sure all are able to contribute. Some of my siblings are not exactly computer savvy, and so have not been able to contribute as much.
This blog became soon a place for us to talk about things that were really important to us and people wanted more and more space to write actual essays. Because of this I decided to make a linked separate blog called the Mifferulestuff. This blog was for longer essays and thoughts that maybe could not fit in the space given on the first blog. This became a great log book of another tradition which I am including here because of the similarities and connection. We have started a tradition recently of writing essays on Sundays. My sister told us about how she would write essays on Sunday afternoons mostly just to keep up her writing skills. She had in the past shared them with people she knew that would do the same thing with her. The suggestion was made, and now has been kept up for a few months, that we can do this as a family. Now each Sunday we write an essay on whatever topic we wish to and send it out to the whole family. I then log the essay on the Mifferulestuff blog. There is no pressure to write, and you do not have to follow any rules as far as cohesiveness or format or length or review. So far this tradition has been a big hit and has helped to include some of the in-laws as well. One of my sister-in-laws was an English major in college and so has really enjoyed being able to be a part of things.
This tradition of communication follows the standards set by the Proclamation better than any I have written about. It is record keeping, and it involves a larger portion of the family than other traditions have been able to. It is strong in the sense that we are able to love and enjoy each other’s thoughts and feelings. The only issue I worry about is that it is new, and young. We have not been able to test it through time to see if it will continue. It does not have anything that it is really tied to and so could die off easily. I guess it is up to us as a family to keep it moving forward. In researching family blogs I read about purposes and over and over again the people marketing blog space would talk about family blogs. One point in particular was repeated: One fantastic aspect of a family blog is how involved everyone can be in the process. This is something we have definitely seen in our family.
The tradition of writing essays and posting to the blog will need to be solidified before we can consider its ability to continue through the ages and generations. I believe keeping a record as we are on the second blog and more importantly referring to it and commenting on it when we get together is the key. We will be able to get that opportunity when we have our family reunion this summer.

The Super Bowl

The Super Bowl is always on Sunday, but we as a family had made a rule that we wouldn’t watch TV on Sundays. When my oldest brother became interested in following professional football and was interested in watching the Super Bowl he decided to do something about his dilemma. My dad was excited to have someone to talk to about sports and so encouraged him to find a solution, yet he did not see any reason to watch the game if they already knew the score or who won. So, they could not watch the game live because it was on Sunday, yet they could not watch it Monday night because they would have heard the score at work or school. To solve this problem my brother decided they could would wake up at 3am and watch a VHS recording of it. This time was early enough that they could finish the game in time for scriptures in the morning with the rest of the family and still get to school and work on time. My mom supported this tradition as well and would even bring us chips and salsa down at half time. Throughout the years each of us boys have enjoyed the tradition as a quirky thing we as a family do. Being exhausted at school the next day was a badge of honor and a conversation starter with all of your friends, something we would brag about.

This tradition is not one of a spiritual nature really, although it is for spiritual reasons we kept it. It was definitely a good tradition because it bonded us boys to our father, fostered a great story telling atmosphere with each other and our friends and was a mark of manhood when you were old enough to get up and enjoy the time together. It was not much a natural tradition although the time would come and we would always remember the silly tradition we had kept.

I do not think any of us still keep this tradition, although my parents have asked me each year I have been at college whether I would or not. I would not be surprised, though, if my brothers kept the tradition with their children when they are old enough, but for now it is not important enough for them. The thing about the game was that none of us were really that interested in football. We just wanted to spend the time with each other. Without that none of us are motivated to do the same.

MBA Statement of Intent

I intend to complete an MBA within three years and graduate in 2012. I will combine the MBA work with that of the mechanical engineering department in following the product development path and finally receive an MBA and a MS in Mechanical Engineering.
Completing an MBA was a task I never considered as I worked through my engineering undergraduate studies. Fortunately I have had experiences that have prepared me for this career path. My preparation has come from two sources: my education and my employment. Both sections have prepared me in different ways to be successful in the MBA program.
My undergraduate studies at BYU have been an influential experience in my life. The Mechanical Engineering program has taught me to work hard even when my classes are difficult, learning to prioritize what was necessary in order to handle the rigorous schedule. My time management, organizational, and study skills have greatly improved through my efforts in this major.
The preparation that came from my engineering jobs has proven to be invaluable. Working at AeroAstro and then later at RMC/Spectrum Aeronautical I found that the things I learn at school actually apply to my expected career. I gained a greater desire to further learn the things I was being taught. I appreciated my undergraduate degree, but I learned that I needed to extend that knowledge if I was to be happy in my career. At RMC/Spectrum I began to look around at the people working with me. I realized that the position of Designer/Drafter was a respectable one, no doubt, but that I was not stretching myself. I was in a position of comfort, not challenge. I began to realize I wanted to contribute more with my life.
This realization led me to consider what I did want out of my career. This is when I discovered the Product Development program here at BYU. It seemed to lend itself directly to me. I have always liked finding myself in management roles in my social life and in group projects at school. In my capstone group, for example, I find myself taking command any time the team lets me whether it is in a conference call, a meeting with the sponsor, or a presentation. I feel responsible in group situations to find a way we can work more efficiently as a team while still enjoying the labor. These experiences have prepared me for this degree in management.
My plans for my career path include working as a project manager, using skills that would be used to direct and instruct employees in accomplishing engineering projects. I will be able to understand my projects thoroughly enough so I can direct my designers to meet specific design objectives. I have a unique skill set in that I am an engineer and can be a manager of engineers without losing credibility to them. I plan to be able to work with them through design problems and direct the project in the most profitable way. The unique combination of technical and managerial education will provide me with the skills I will need to be successful in the positions I plan to be in throughout my career.
As a masters graduate I will have the skills necessary to guide a team of engineers in completing these tasks. BYU is the only school that has teachers focusing on what I want to study along with a phenomenal business program. This makes BYU my first choice for post-graduate studies.
Through the MBA program I will be able to learn the skills I need to be successful in the business world. I will learn to see entrepreneurial opportunities and recognize their potential. I hope to be able to market and sell products that I have designed and produced. Most importantly, my goal is to be able to manage and lead a team of engineers effectively through an engineering project, in every aspect necessary.
I want to learn the skills I will need to successfully start a profitable business. In order to get to that position I will need to have the skills to be effective within a larger company where I hope to be in a position of management working with an engineering department to control the production of a mechanical system.

Parent Interview

Introduction
Teach people correct principles and then let them govern themselves. This quote from the prophet Joseph Smith concerning his ability to raise such a righteous group of people in Nauvoo became a motto for my parents as they raised their righteous generation. I was fortunate enough to interview my father on his feelings on teaching and parenting. The interview was only occasionally interrupted by my mother chiming in with a story or a reference, but always with good advice. The main theme throughout the interview was consistency with decisions whether in consequences, traditions, or their living example.
Analysis of the interview
I interviewed my father. He is the father of six children each of who have proven themselves to be good upstanding citizens and church members. He is an authoritative parent, but thinks of himself as passive. The interview took place over the phone. I kept a record of the interview on a notepad, and an audio record has also been kept.
Being a child of such good parents allows me to see what a parent can accomplish when they keep their mind on it. My parents both have been wonderful and conscientious about the way they raised their children. My father said that even though he thought long and hard about what he would do when he was a father, things never seemed to work out the same way in real life. The principle here is that he was trying to do his best. He talked about Santa Clause, sport teams, and doing homework as examples of things they worried about before ever getting into a situation where a decision would have to be made.
The Santa Clause idea is a really telling thought that my father expressed. There was a fad that was going around where parents felt like teaching their children about Santa Clause was lying and the child would resent that later in life. My parents were very conscious of the arguments, discussed the possibilities, and then decided to not tell, but not lie about Santa Clause to my oldest sister. My father said they worried much more about my oldest sister than the rest of their children. When asked if that meant they felt they had parented her better than the rest of the children my father said no. He told me that you have to try harder with the first child, but there are more mistakes made along the way.
My father is a firm believer in the idea of children being innately good. He told me that he learned that from his mother. He asked her one time why he does not ever remember being disciplined by either of his parents. His mother’s response was that she just had good kids, so she never needed to discipline them. Of course this is not completely true, but it is a good way of saying that children are not just a blank slate, but they have a strong personality as well which comes innately good.
I asked my parents what they did to prepare to be parents or improve their parenting skills. I asked this question because I remember my mother always saying things like “they always say…” to which we would respond “who are ‘they’?” The ‘they’ she was talking about was the authors of the books she had read. Looking at it now I am pretty impressed that she was able to read through many of these available books. She told me at one point she was going to break down with stress over her first two kids. She really felt like she should read some of the new parenting help books but also felt like reading her scriptures was even more important. She said she was told, in response to a prayer, that if she would study the scriptures as her manual, that the rest would be overcome.
I was surprised to hear my dad say that control can only come from punishment with kids. I do not think that is the way we lived as children, but that was his first reaction. We talked about how he never used the term ‘grounded,’ although, we probably had the same punishment. He said that reasoning is great with kids until you run out of time. His main and final point I will have to quote because I feel like it really summed up their consistent method of teaching. My father said “You get more mileage from promoting good behavior than punishing bad behavior.
The concept of consequences being right seemed to be a big topic for both of my parents. They felt like it was something they truly believed in, but did not learn to do it very well. They tried to come up with good consequences through spouse discussions, but it was too easy to do things like take away the toy, or any other negative consequence. They found that it is really hard to find natural, non contrived consequences that fit the crime. My mom told me that they hated missing the school bus for example because it punished her more than the child since she would have to drive them to school. She decided that if they missed the bus again they would have to find their own ride to school. Fortunately we must not have ever missed the bus after that since we never had to find a ride, but the consequences did fit the crime. They found that it was mostly just important to be consistent with their disciplining and most of the problems went away.
My parent’s final words of advice were to learn as you go, keep your eyes open, and try to do what’s right and that you will get more answers from Heavenly Father than you ever thought you would.
Application of information
The most I learned from this interview was the importance of consistency in raising children. Children need to know where the line will be whether they are one to try to push across it or not. If a parent is moving their decisions all over the place the child will not have a sure foundation to stand on.
I learned that I have great parents and grandparents. The reason this is something I can apply is that I have the confidence in myself to be a great parent because of it. They have taught me very well and I appreciate it. I believe in my ability because of my legacy.
I feel like when I have a family I will be able to discipline them correctly and put them in their place without any verbal, physical, or emotional lashing out. I believe in the power of incentives and see that as a solution to these problems.
I learned that consistency makes the daily tasks bearable and expected from children. It gives them something they can be successful at. Things like fasting can teach self discipline as well. Working like this with preparation can be a great help to my children.
My Plan of Action
I plan to make very few changes to the way my parents parented. I really liked their method of having a plan of action and carrying it out with consistency. I would like to continue most all of my family’s traditions, especially things like early morning scripture study and Sunday stations-an organized activity set. I would like to have these types of activities be a genuine part of my parenting.
I would like to be a very authoritarian parent. According to the book Strengthening Our Families, I would have a connection, but consistent regulation, and purposeful autonomy. I hope to provide the necessary environment where that can grow.
I want to celebrate with my children each of their successes. My family always eats ice-cream when we were going to celebrate, but I think there should be some sort of traditional congratulations I will be able to do for my child.
I would like to change one thing my parents did. I realized talking to them about chores around the house that there must be a better way to do them. I feel like part of the reason I didn’t like chores was because I did not really see any result from what I did. I would have to clean the same thing every week for example whether it was clean or not. I feel like I would have been much more willing if I was able to see a difference from what I did.
Conclusion
My parents were not perfect in any way, but I feel like they are near perfect. They have become more unified by having kids and then having them all goes away. I feel like the key to good parenting is just to love your children and keep your promises. Be consistent and the things which should happen will happen and in the best possible way.