I grew up being taught to have the mentality of frugality. We learned what month things went on sale and would stock up, we learned the art of price comparison, and the true meaning of a dollar. As a young woman I had a year to save up for girls camp. It was $100 plus any extra spending while I was there to go. It was the rule in my house that half of what you earned went into savings. I had a babysitting job on many Saturday nights to earn this money. After four hours of work I’d get a measly $10, of which I could only allocate four to girls camp. It would take 6 months of sacrificing every Saturday night to pay for the one week of girls camp. Was it worth it? Definitely, I wouldn’t change it for the world. This was a great lesson to me. It always made me think twice or thrice before I spent a dime.
To this day, I am a sale shopper, a yardsaler, and a bargain seeker. Do I have shame in this? Not in the least. In fact, when I get a good deal I live off of that energy for like a whole day. Call me crazy, but I do.
Now what baffles me is when you hear of people getting $400 of groceries for just $20. Is that really true? Who has the patience to gather coupons, clip them and do research to match sales with coupons? Think about it though, when was the last time you got Kraft salad dressing for .17 including tax? How about Motts applesauce for .30 or Post cereal for .50 a box? Never, well how about Pace salsa or Yoplait yogurt for free?
Well, I guess I have a confession to make; I have taken my frugality to the next level. I didn’t get $400 of groceries for $20, but all those other deals, I have recently enjoyed, plus a few others.
Yes, I have taken my shopping to a whole new world, the world of couponing. I never thought I would find pleasure in clipping, but most of the work is already done for me. It’s all online with the deals spelled out. The printable coupons are right there with them.
Okay, so I guess the point of this essay is because I’m living off of this energy of excitement and felt like sharing. Is that girly or what?
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
My Essay for the Week
Hi All,
Megan, you have snared me into replying. I loved this essay you wrote on silence. It is something I fight for everyday but usually to no prevail. Because of this I haven't participated 100% to this essay thing going on. But today my kids are uncharacteristicly sleeping in. The older ones are at school and the two younger are still asleep. It is 9:34 and I have decided to enjoy my 'silents' instead of taking a shower and preparing for the day. (sleep on kids, sleep on!) I've spent my time catching up with reading your essays. They are so telling into each of your personalities. I sometimes wish I could have more time so you can all get to know my personality better as well. Then I realized if I titled some of my emails better like "essay for this week" or something like that, that I am sharing something of myself but in my own way. My latest essay would be the picture of Peter. Noone commented, so I hope you all got it. Or the video of Marshall and his Lepricon trap. My children are my essays in person--and I took an hour trying to get that picture. That should tell something about me and be interesting for you to "read". Also, I thought about sending my seminary letters I write every week for my seminary students. I try to put some thoughtful insite into them, but then they are filled with quotes and thoughts of others. They also take me an hour to write. But I don't think I'll bother you with those. Or I will just enjoy the few small moments of silence I can muster up each week and read about your lives instead. That sounds better. But, know that I am here and I think all of you are great and inspiring. I can't wait to see you all at the reunion.
Megan, you have snared me into replying. I loved this essay you wrote on silence. It is something I fight for everyday but usually to no prevail. Because of this I haven't participated 100% to this essay thing going on. But today my kids are uncharacteristicly sleeping in. The older ones are at school and the two younger are still asleep. It is 9:34 and I have decided to enjoy my 'silents' instead of taking a shower and preparing for the day. (sleep on kids, sleep on!) I've spent my time catching up with reading your essays. They are so telling into each of your personalities. I sometimes wish I could have more time so you can all get to know my personality better as well. Then I realized if I titled some of my emails better like "essay for this week" or something like that, that I am sharing something of myself but in my own way. My latest essay would be the picture of Peter. Noone commented, so I hope you all got it. Or the video of Marshall and his Lepricon trap. My children are my essays in person--and I took an hour trying to get that picture. That should tell something about me and be interesting for you to "read". Also, I thought about sending my seminary letters I write every week for my seminary students. I try to put some thoughtful insite into them, but then they are filled with quotes and thoughts of others. They also take me an hour to write. But I don't think I'll bother you with those. Or I will just enjoy the few small moments of silence I can muster up each week and read about your lives instead. That sounds better. But, know that I am here and I think all of you are great and inspiring. I can't wait to see you all at the reunion.
Parenting
April 5, 2009
We’ve recently reached yet another mix-up in our parenting strategy, another subtle change in situation that calls for some re-thinking. I don’t know if it’s because Noah turned 12 and he’s starting to outgrow the other brothers, or because we’ve moved back to America, and our boys’ loyalties are starting to move toward friends instead of family. . . . but Noah and Danny have started having issues. Noah and Oak play really well together, but Danny’s starting to be the odd man out.
Last Sunday, Noah came yelling to me, “Danny just stepped on my music!!!” This seemed out of character for Danny, so I sounded frustrated when I asked Danny why he would step on Noah’s music. Danny, in tears, said, “Noah always teases me, but whenever I try to tease him, it just doesn’t work out.”
Well, this sounds more dramatic than it really is. All three boys spent the last 2 hours being “midgie-men,” with three forts and a spying strategy. But there has been a delicate change in the wind, and I haven’t liked the new direction.
Noah’s problem, I think, is something I’ll call pre-flirting. I remember when Mike and I got married, my brother Dan was at this same age, and such a good kid, but such an annoying, awkward tease! That’s where Noah’s at. When he’s not being wonderful and mature, he teases and pushes buttons and can make himself very annoying. For example, if he’s going down the stairs, and Danny’s coming up the stairs, do they just walk by each other? Noooo. Noah has to play-kick Danny as he passes him. Or if Noah’s standing at the kitchen sink, and Oak’s trying to get something out of the cupboard below the sink, does Noah stand to the side for a second and let Oak in? Nooooo. Noah has to let Oak partly open the door, and then slam it shut again, and then let Oak open it again, and then slam it shut again – and not just once or twice, but over and over again until Oak’s almost in tears.
When Noah dishes this treatment out on his friends at school, they just give it back to him. This is what they *do*.
The reason I call this pre-flirting, is because it was the kinds of kids who could successfully pull off this sort of teasing who were the popular ones in Jr. High. I mean, who’s going to be more popular – the nice boy who sits in his desk, and quietly moves to the side when you’re trying to reach a cupboard on the other side of him? Or the mischievous boy who sits in his desk and playfully shuts the door of the cupboard on the other side of him as you’re trying to open it? The boys and girls are just starting to talk to each other again after elementary school years of almost living in separate worlds, and the most common way for kids to bridge the divide from one side of the gender line to the other, is not civilized conversation, but this kind of teasing.
So, that was a long prelude to say that I’ve been reflecting on parenting advice that has meant the most to me over the years. The overwhelming majority of my parenting style is unconscious and thanks to my own parents, but here are some ideas that have been turning points in my own parenting philosophy. I’m sure that this list will be easy for any reader to skim over, but I have a whole world of memories associated with each idea and person. I listed each idea in the order of when I received it:
Br. Daines: “Try not to mess them up.” This advice was given to me by my favorite mission companion’s father at her mission homecoming. I was pregnant with Noah at the time.
Sr. Eleanor Taylor: “That’s Satan’s plan.” Sr. Taylor was part of a missionary couple serving with us in the Bronx. Noah was a baby; we were in the car driving up to Westchester for a stake meeting. I was telling her something along the lines of how I wished I could protect my kids from major mistakes.
Sr. Ennoi: “Make dinner in the morning.” Sr. Ennoi was the Stake RS president when I was the branch RS president in the Bronx. She had raised 5 children that seemed perfect to me. This was her only piece of advice when I asked.
Me: “Anticipate behavior problems.” I can’t tell how many Sundays, in the car on the way to church, we had the exact same conversation: “what are the three rules for church?” Or how many times, on the way to a birthday party, “when can you say thank you at a birthday party,” etc.
Me: “Don’t raise a teenager.” Try not to treat my toddlers and young children the way many teenagers treat their parents.
Melissa Rohrer: The Question Game. Kids love to be asked any random question, and this is a great way to take control of dinnertime or driving time that otherwise was spiraling into chaos. The Question Game is played by going around to each kid in turn and asking a question.
Becky Shumway: “Keep your covenants and everything else will work out.” I reflect on this conversation whenever I worry about how my parenting style is being affected – yes, even undermined - by Mike’s parenting style. Becky’s parents had this problem, too.
Heather Gottfredson: “Bathe the kids once a week.” Heather is my cousin’s wife who lived by us in San Antonio. This advice has saved lots of time and frustration.
Lorraine Dixon: “Have fun with your kids’ friends’ families.” Lorraine is another cousin who lives in Austin, TX. This is how she felt she was able to remain in touch with her kids through their teenage years.
Holly Smiley: “My mom laughs whenever we mention something she did that was weird or didn’t work.” I love the idea of my grown kids mentioning faults or complaints or weirdness about their upbringing, and my reaction is to laugh about it.
Marc Weissbluth: “Sleep enough.” The book “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby” by Weissbluth helped me. Wish I would have read it sooner. . . .
Adele Faber: “Stop denying kids’ feelings” from Chapter 1 of the book, “How to Talk so Kids will Listen.” Examples: I’m hungry - You can’t be, you just ate! I’m not cold – Of course you are, it’s freezing out here! That was boring – you’re just tired! Another key concept, from the same authors’ book about sibling rivalry: “I’m not trying to raise kids who will be best friends with each other, but kids who can treat each other decently.”
Mom and Dad: “Go abroad” The idea that getting comfortably situated can be bad for family life, based on their experience living in England. They knew a family with a bunch of kids who moved to Idaho to be in a good environment for the kids and by their extended family, but after a year or two, they felt that their family was being torn apart in all directions by busy-ness and kids’ friends. They moved back to Europe.
Karen and Michael Jensen: “Keep talking.” The Jensens raised a bunch of girls who all seemed to get along great. Mandi and Melani Jensens, the twins, were our favorite babysitters in Sulzdorf. When I asked them how they did it, they told me that they kept everyone talking until problems or grudges were resolved. They said that they ended up doing a lot of talking, sometimes staying up late, or carrying a conversation over several days, but they wouldn’t let issues be pushed under the rug or ignored.
Me: “A story is better than a lecture.” Based on one striking experience after dropping Linda Lopez and her girls off at the Ryanair airport in Germany.
Elder Hales, when asked by our stake president to name the biggest challenge that our youth face today: “Their parents.” This happened last month, and brings me full circle back to the advice given to me 12 years ago by Br. Daines, not to “mess them up.”
Parenting gives me a reason to want to be more perfect.
We’ve recently reached yet another mix-up in our parenting strategy, another subtle change in situation that calls for some re-thinking. I don’t know if it’s because Noah turned 12 and he’s starting to outgrow the other brothers, or because we’ve moved back to America, and our boys’ loyalties are starting to move toward friends instead of family. . . . but Noah and Danny have started having issues. Noah and Oak play really well together, but Danny’s starting to be the odd man out.
Last Sunday, Noah came yelling to me, “Danny just stepped on my music!!!” This seemed out of character for Danny, so I sounded frustrated when I asked Danny why he would step on Noah’s music. Danny, in tears, said, “Noah always teases me, but whenever I try to tease him, it just doesn’t work out.”
Well, this sounds more dramatic than it really is. All three boys spent the last 2 hours being “midgie-men,” with three forts and a spying strategy. But there has been a delicate change in the wind, and I haven’t liked the new direction.
Noah’s problem, I think, is something I’ll call pre-flirting. I remember when Mike and I got married, my brother Dan was at this same age, and such a good kid, but such an annoying, awkward tease! That’s where Noah’s at. When he’s not being wonderful and mature, he teases and pushes buttons and can make himself very annoying. For example, if he’s going down the stairs, and Danny’s coming up the stairs, do they just walk by each other? Noooo. Noah has to play-kick Danny as he passes him. Or if Noah’s standing at the kitchen sink, and Oak’s trying to get something out of the cupboard below the sink, does Noah stand to the side for a second and let Oak in? Nooooo. Noah has to let Oak partly open the door, and then slam it shut again, and then let Oak open it again, and then slam it shut again – and not just once or twice, but over and over again until Oak’s almost in tears.
When Noah dishes this treatment out on his friends at school, they just give it back to him. This is what they *do*.
The reason I call this pre-flirting, is because it was the kinds of kids who could successfully pull off this sort of teasing who were the popular ones in Jr. High. I mean, who’s going to be more popular – the nice boy who sits in his desk, and quietly moves to the side when you’re trying to reach a cupboard on the other side of him? Or the mischievous boy who sits in his desk and playfully shuts the door of the cupboard on the other side of him as you’re trying to open it? The boys and girls are just starting to talk to each other again after elementary school years of almost living in separate worlds, and the most common way for kids to bridge the divide from one side of the gender line to the other, is not civilized conversation, but this kind of teasing.
So, that was a long prelude to say that I’ve been reflecting on parenting advice that has meant the most to me over the years. The overwhelming majority of my parenting style is unconscious and thanks to my own parents, but here are some ideas that have been turning points in my own parenting philosophy. I’m sure that this list will be easy for any reader to skim over, but I have a whole world of memories associated with each idea and person. I listed each idea in the order of when I received it:
Br. Daines: “Try not to mess them up.” This advice was given to me by my favorite mission companion’s father at her mission homecoming. I was pregnant with Noah at the time.
Sr. Eleanor Taylor: “That’s Satan’s plan.” Sr. Taylor was part of a missionary couple serving with us in the Bronx. Noah was a baby; we were in the car driving up to Westchester for a stake meeting. I was telling her something along the lines of how I wished I could protect my kids from major mistakes.
Sr. Ennoi: “Make dinner in the morning.” Sr. Ennoi was the Stake RS president when I was the branch RS president in the Bronx. She had raised 5 children that seemed perfect to me. This was her only piece of advice when I asked.
Me: “Anticipate behavior problems.” I can’t tell how many Sundays, in the car on the way to church, we had the exact same conversation: “what are the three rules for church?” Or how many times, on the way to a birthday party, “when can you say thank you at a birthday party,” etc.
Me: “Don’t raise a teenager.” Try not to treat my toddlers and young children the way many teenagers treat their parents.
Melissa Rohrer: The Question Game. Kids love to be asked any random question, and this is a great way to take control of dinnertime or driving time that otherwise was spiraling into chaos. The Question Game is played by going around to each kid in turn and asking a question.
Becky Shumway: “Keep your covenants and everything else will work out.” I reflect on this conversation whenever I worry about how my parenting style is being affected – yes, even undermined - by Mike’s parenting style. Becky’s parents had this problem, too.
Heather Gottfredson: “Bathe the kids once a week.” Heather is my cousin’s wife who lived by us in San Antonio. This advice has saved lots of time and frustration.
Lorraine Dixon: “Have fun with your kids’ friends’ families.” Lorraine is another cousin who lives in Austin, TX. This is how she felt she was able to remain in touch with her kids through their teenage years.
Holly Smiley: “My mom laughs whenever we mention something she did that was weird or didn’t work.” I love the idea of my grown kids mentioning faults or complaints or weirdness about their upbringing, and my reaction is to laugh about it.
Marc Weissbluth: “Sleep enough.” The book “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby” by Weissbluth helped me. Wish I would have read it sooner. . . .
Adele Faber: “Stop denying kids’ feelings” from Chapter 1 of the book, “How to Talk so Kids will Listen.” Examples: I’m hungry - You can’t be, you just ate! I’m not cold – Of course you are, it’s freezing out here! That was boring – you’re just tired! Another key concept, from the same authors’ book about sibling rivalry: “I’m not trying to raise kids who will be best friends with each other, but kids who can treat each other decently.”
Mom and Dad: “Go abroad” The idea that getting comfortably situated can be bad for family life, based on their experience living in England. They knew a family with a bunch of kids who moved to Idaho to be in a good environment for the kids and by their extended family, but after a year or two, they felt that their family was being torn apart in all directions by busy-ness and kids’ friends. They moved back to Europe.
Karen and Michael Jensen: “Keep talking.” The Jensens raised a bunch of girls who all seemed to get along great. Mandi and Melani Jensens, the twins, were our favorite babysitters in Sulzdorf. When I asked them how they did it, they told me that they kept everyone talking until problems or grudges were resolved. They said that they ended up doing a lot of talking, sometimes staying up late, or carrying a conversation over several days, but they wouldn’t let issues be pushed under the rug or ignored.
Me: “A story is better than a lecture.” Based on one striking experience after dropping Linda Lopez and her girls off at the Ryanair airport in Germany.
Elder Hales, when asked by our stake president to name the biggest challenge that our youth face today: “Their parents.” This happened last month, and brings me full circle back to the advice given to me 12 years ago by Br. Daines, not to “mess them up.”
Parenting gives me a reason to want to be more perfect.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Silence
Silence is an interesting thing. It has the capacity of being peaceful, comfortable, beautiful as well as the most awful, uncomfortable experience. I’ve thought about the different facets of silence this past week as I considered the changes my own personal silence has gone through over the past decade. It has morphed and shifted and gelled around phases of my life, places in my life, where I have given it a chance to teach and to give insights that had I ignored the silence, I would have missed.
In college, with the exception of my first year, I had my own room and bathroom. Quiet was easily achieved, though rarely sought out. I study and concentrate better in quiet, so I would establish the times I needed the quiet to finish my homework. The rest of my time was surrounded by people, activities and the endless lectures of my teachers. Silence, though, was different to me than just quiet. Silence I would find on walks at night, usually with one or both of my roommates. On late night drives from Salt Lake to Logan. Passing Mantua in Sardine Canyon I never could get any good stations on the radio, so I would turn it off and just…be. .In the quiet of the night I had the opportunity to study that silence. I was always surprised at the things I would remember or think about. Conversations days old would return with impressive clarity, and I could hear what that person was actually trying to tell me. Thoughts of people that I had assumed were just random passing miss-you moments would often turn into a pressing need to call them or write them. I was always humbled to find out it was a need on their part, not mine, being answered when I would take that minute to contact them.
As newlyweds, we had a super quiet house. I’ll call it peaceful because it doesn’t sound as lonely or pitiful. We had no TV, Jon worked, and I knew no one in the state of Virginia. I can’t describe the relief that flowed through me when the phone company hooked up our phone. Lines of communication have rarely been so appreciated. But in that quiet, that peacefulness, Jon and I established us as a married couple. People say the first year of marriage is the hardest, but I disagree. It was one of the most, well, peaceful years I have ever had. I learned pretty early to enjoy each of those moments of quiet with my new husband, because I had an inkling of what lay ahead…
Kids. Well, that changes the definition of a quiet house, doesn’t it? With just one child, we still made the most of the quiet, but Lucy got too used to having such a quiet house. After bedtime, Jon and I would whisper so we wouldn’t wake her up. Only first-time parents would even consider doing something like that, but we did. And we loved the quiet of the evenings together.
Multiple kids. We try to have quiet time every day while Owen is sleeping and we’re usually pretty good at it. No TV, no phones, no running around. Quiet time to think, for me to recharge and for Anabel and Lucy to know that being by themselves is something to be treasured, not a punishment. It’s delightful to discover things about yourself, to feel comfortable with yourself, that only that quiet time can give. I love that time during the day, listening to the soft murmur of my house during quiet time. It’s peaceful and full of contentment and the joy of discovery. Silence in my house, though, I have learned is often the precursor to trouble. If my kids are silent, it’s a warning I cannot ignore. It means the kids are doing something they know they shouldn’t be doing and I have a very limited amount of time to find them and stop said activity.
I went to the grocery store the other day and looked at all the people around me. I lost count of the cell phones, the ear buds and the hand held video games. We have the capacity in our cars to have not just one, but six CDs in at all times. Endless radio station possibilities and let’s not forget the ever-present cell phone. Jon and I only have one cell phone between us, which some people complain is just barbaric. What if they need to call us? Talk to us about something so earth-shattering it can’t wait for even twenty minutes it would take for us to get home to the voice mail? Well, I have to be honest. I like those times when people can’t get a hold of me. It’s freeing. It’s nice. It’s necessary! I have to remind myself to turn things off, enjoy the moment of talking to my kids in the car and finding out what they’re thinking. It’s always more entertaining and way more fun than any song on the radio or any show I could put in the DVD. And, I have to ask myself, what am I missing when I forget to listen to that silence that is ever more difficult to find? Like Bob Dylan said, “I accept chaos.” It’s a delightful part of life, one I wouldn’t miss for the world. But it’s in the quiet, the silence, those beautiful and rare moments that I am able to learn and grow.
In college, with the exception of my first year, I had my own room and bathroom. Quiet was easily achieved, though rarely sought out. I study and concentrate better in quiet, so I would establish the times I needed the quiet to finish my homework. The rest of my time was surrounded by people, activities and the endless lectures of my teachers. Silence, though, was different to me than just quiet. Silence I would find on walks at night, usually with one or both of my roommates. On late night drives from Salt Lake to Logan. Passing Mantua in Sardine Canyon I never could get any good stations on the radio, so I would turn it off and just…be. .In the quiet of the night I had the opportunity to study that silence. I was always surprised at the things I would remember or think about. Conversations days old would return with impressive clarity, and I could hear what that person was actually trying to tell me. Thoughts of people that I had assumed were just random passing miss-you moments would often turn into a pressing need to call them or write them. I was always humbled to find out it was a need on their part, not mine, being answered when I would take that minute to contact them.
As newlyweds, we had a super quiet house. I’ll call it peaceful because it doesn’t sound as lonely or pitiful. We had no TV, Jon worked, and I knew no one in the state of Virginia. I can’t describe the relief that flowed through me when the phone company hooked up our phone. Lines of communication have rarely been so appreciated. But in that quiet, that peacefulness, Jon and I established us as a married couple. People say the first year of marriage is the hardest, but I disagree. It was one of the most, well, peaceful years I have ever had. I learned pretty early to enjoy each of those moments of quiet with my new husband, because I had an inkling of what lay ahead…
Kids. Well, that changes the definition of a quiet house, doesn’t it? With just one child, we still made the most of the quiet, but Lucy got too used to having such a quiet house. After bedtime, Jon and I would whisper so we wouldn’t wake her up. Only first-time parents would even consider doing something like that, but we did. And we loved the quiet of the evenings together.
Multiple kids. We try to have quiet time every day while Owen is sleeping and we’re usually pretty good at it. No TV, no phones, no running around. Quiet time to think, for me to recharge and for Anabel and Lucy to know that being by themselves is something to be treasured, not a punishment. It’s delightful to discover things about yourself, to feel comfortable with yourself, that only that quiet time can give. I love that time during the day, listening to the soft murmur of my house during quiet time. It’s peaceful and full of contentment and the joy of discovery. Silence in my house, though, I have learned is often the precursor to trouble. If my kids are silent, it’s a warning I cannot ignore. It means the kids are doing something they know they shouldn’t be doing and I have a very limited amount of time to find them and stop said activity.
I went to the grocery store the other day and looked at all the people around me. I lost count of the cell phones, the ear buds and the hand held video games. We have the capacity in our cars to have not just one, but six CDs in at all times. Endless radio station possibilities and let’s not forget the ever-present cell phone. Jon and I only have one cell phone between us, which some people complain is just barbaric. What if they need to call us? Talk to us about something so earth-shattering it can’t wait for even twenty minutes it would take for us to get home to the voice mail? Well, I have to be honest. I like those times when people can’t get a hold of me. It’s freeing. It’s nice. It’s necessary! I have to remind myself to turn things off, enjoy the moment of talking to my kids in the car and finding out what they’re thinking. It’s always more entertaining and way more fun than any song on the radio or any show I could put in the DVD. And, I have to ask myself, what am I missing when I forget to listen to that silence that is ever more difficult to find? Like Bob Dylan said, “I accept chaos.” It’s a delightful part of life, one I wouldn’t miss for the world. But it’s in the quiet, the silence, those beautiful and rare moments that I am able to learn and grow.
The Mifferules Blogs
As the years spread my family apart physically we have decided that we would make every effort to continue to stay close. One of those efforts has been communication through the internet. About a year ago I started a family blog (the “Mifferules”) that we have all kept up. It is a place that we can post all of the fun things and pictures that we have to share with each other. My parents put up a calendar each month with all of the birthdays and special events and also do little competitions for the kids. My younger brother and I who are both at BYU put up pictures and tell stories of the fun things we are doing here, and my older siblings talk about all the fun things they are doing as a family. It has been a very good thing to help knit us together. The only issues we have had so far include making sure all are able to contribute. Some of my siblings are not exactly computer savvy, and so have not been able to contribute as much.
This blog became soon a place for us to talk about things that were really important to us and people wanted more and more space to write actual essays. Because of this I decided to make a linked separate blog called the Mifferulestuff. This blog was for longer essays and thoughts that maybe could not fit in the space given on the first blog. This became a great log book of another tradition which I am including here because of the similarities and connection. We have started a tradition recently of writing essays on Sundays. My sister told us about how she would write essays on Sunday afternoons mostly just to keep up her writing skills. She had in the past shared them with people she knew that would do the same thing with her. The suggestion was made, and now has been kept up for a few months, that we can do this as a family. Now each Sunday we write an essay on whatever topic we wish to and send it out to the whole family. I then log the essay on the Mifferulestuff blog. There is no pressure to write, and you do not have to follow any rules as far as cohesiveness or format or length or review. So far this tradition has been a big hit and has helped to include some of the in-laws as well. One of my sister-in-laws was an English major in college and so has really enjoyed being able to be a part of things.
This tradition of communication follows the standards set by the Proclamation better than any I have written about. It is record keeping, and it involves a larger portion of the family than other traditions have been able to. It is strong in the sense that we are able to love and enjoy each other’s thoughts and feelings. The only issue I worry about is that it is new, and young. We have not been able to test it through time to see if it will continue. It does not have anything that it is really tied to and so could die off easily. I guess it is up to us as a family to keep it moving forward. In researching family blogs I read about purposes and over and over again the people marketing blog space would talk about family blogs. One point in particular was repeated: One fantastic aspect of a family blog is how involved everyone can be in the process. This is something we have definitely seen in our family.
The tradition of writing essays and posting to the blog will need to be solidified before we can consider its ability to continue through the ages and generations. I believe keeping a record as we are on the second blog and more importantly referring to it and commenting on it when we get together is the key. We will be able to get that opportunity when we have our family reunion this summer.
This blog became soon a place for us to talk about things that were really important to us and people wanted more and more space to write actual essays. Because of this I decided to make a linked separate blog called the Mifferulestuff. This blog was for longer essays and thoughts that maybe could not fit in the space given on the first blog. This became a great log book of another tradition which I am including here because of the similarities and connection. We have started a tradition recently of writing essays on Sundays. My sister told us about how she would write essays on Sunday afternoons mostly just to keep up her writing skills. She had in the past shared them with people she knew that would do the same thing with her. The suggestion was made, and now has been kept up for a few months, that we can do this as a family. Now each Sunday we write an essay on whatever topic we wish to and send it out to the whole family. I then log the essay on the Mifferulestuff blog. There is no pressure to write, and you do not have to follow any rules as far as cohesiveness or format or length or review. So far this tradition has been a big hit and has helped to include some of the in-laws as well. One of my sister-in-laws was an English major in college and so has really enjoyed being able to be a part of things.
This tradition of communication follows the standards set by the Proclamation better than any I have written about. It is record keeping, and it involves a larger portion of the family than other traditions have been able to. It is strong in the sense that we are able to love and enjoy each other’s thoughts and feelings. The only issue I worry about is that it is new, and young. We have not been able to test it through time to see if it will continue. It does not have anything that it is really tied to and so could die off easily. I guess it is up to us as a family to keep it moving forward. In researching family blogs I read about purposes and over and over again the people marketing blog space would talk about family blogs. One point in particular was repeated: One fantastic aspect of a family blog is how involved everyone can be in the process. This is something we have definitely seen in our family.
The tradition of writing essays and posting to the blog will need to be solidified before we can consider its ability to continue through the ages and generations. I believe keeping a record as we are on the second blog and more importantly referring to it and commenting on it when we get together is the key. We will be able to get that opportunity when we have our family reunion this summer.
The Super Bowl
The Super Bowl is always on Sunday, but we as a family had made a rule that we wouldn’t watch TV on Sundays. When my oldest brother became interested in following professional football and was interested in watching the Super Bowl he decided to do something about his dilemma. My dad was excited to have someone to talk to about sports and so encouraged him to find a solution, yet he did not see any reason to watch the game if they already knew the score or who won. So, they could not watch the game live because it was on Sunday, yet they could not watch it Monday night because they would have heard the score at work or school. To solve this problem my brother decided they could would wake up at 3am and watch a VHS recording of it. This time was early enough that they could finish the game in time for scriptures in the morning with the rest of the family and still get to school and work on time. My mom supported this tradition as well and would even bring us chips and salsa down at half time. Throughout the years each of us boys have enjoyed the tradition as a quirky thing we as a family do. Being exhausted at school the next day was a badge of honor and a conversation starter with all of your friends, something we would brag about.
This tradition is not one of a spiritual nature really, although it is for spiritual reasons we kept it. It was definitely a good tradition because it bonded us boys to our father, fostered a great story telling atmosphere with each other and our friends and was a mark of manhood when you were old enough to get up and enjoy the time together. It was not much a natural tradition although the time would come and we would always remember the silly tradition we had kept.
I do not think any of us still keep this tradition, although my parents have asked me each year I have been at college whether I would or not. I would not be surprised, though, if my brothers kept the tradition with their children when they are old enough, but for now it is not important enough for them. The thing about the game was that none of us were really that interested in football. We just wanted to spend the time with each other. Without that none of us are motivated to do the same.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
April Fool's!
It is 11:00 pm and I need to wake up early tomorrow, so I am only giving myself five minutes. I’m lying here in bed, remembering the time that Dan short sheeted mom’s bed, and she blamed me for it. I thought it was the funnies thing that Dan would do that, so it was totally worth taking the blame. One of my roommates now, ironically also named Daniel, has some wicked traditions of pranks in his family. He invited me to a family party of his a while back, and while we were just hanging around eating the food, he and his little brother cut one of the pieces of apple pie horizontally, put a few drops of worchestershire sauce in the slice, and put it back in the pie pan for someone else to discover. [Disclaimer: I’m not giving anyone any ideas. If you get ideas from reading this, it is your own fault. But you know it would be funny.] Sometimes while I am praying over my dinner plate, he will grab the plate from off the table and put it in the oven before I open my eyes. Of course I’m expecting it now, but he gets me every once in a while. I wish I could have been more prepared for April Fool’s Day this year. I chatted with Dan online for a few minutes that morning, and in the conversation, I asked what he would think if I was deciding to get engaged. He asked how serious I was being with myself, but I had to get to class, so I left it at that. Later on that day, we got together for lunch, and he laughed at how bad I am at following through with an April Fool’s joke, and I had to admit that I wouldn’t have been able to play it off very well. As the day went on, I almost forgot all about it, until when I was at Holly’s, I had just gotten started reading to the kids, when I got a phone call. From Megan.
“Hello?”
“Andrew! It’s your sister in law, Megan.”
“Hi!”
“Are you engaged?”
“Uhh…no? Not that I know of.”
“Are you sure?”
“Why?”
“I got a text from Dan saying I need to call you.”
“Dang it! He should have told me first!!”
I could have totally pulled it off. And you would have all believed it. Because Mom was in Germany to say anything against it and Dan would have loved the joke. Next April Fool’s will definitely be better. You’d better watch out. :)
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