Helpless

I never thought I would be in sunny Hawaii and wish I were home in Virginia in February. I timed this trip as poorly as any I have ever been on. It is a helpless feeling to be here and not be able to do anything or even help make decisions.
You have all been hearing about the big storm that has dumped nearly 30 inches of snow on Northern Virginia. I left on Thursday morning and we were already starting to worry a little, but not too much. After all, we had been snowed-in a couple of times this winter already, and it just meant that we would be about to stay home and enjoy the day. Who knew that it would knock out the power, and that now, two days later, the power would still be off with no estimated for when it would be back on. By Friday when I called Mom from Hilo the snow had started to pile up and the power went off, and we were starting to wonder if she should get out while she still could and stay with friends. The estimate from Dominion Power was that the power would be back on by 11 pm. The house was not any colder that it would have been on a normal night with the heat turned down, so Joyce decided to stay and to decide in the morning. It snowed all day on Saturday, and by then it was too late. The snow was too deep to drive through it. Joyce went out and shoveled a path for the car down the driveway, but the snow on the road was too deep, and it was still snowing. Sunday morning it had stopped snowing, but the temperature in the house was down to 45 degrees and there was still no estimate from the power company when it would be back on. Joyce finally got a neighbor with a four-wheel-drive to take her over to our friends, the Latimers, to stay until the power came back on.
I may have gotten some of the details wrong in what was going on at home – and there is the topic of this essay. What do you do when you want to help but are completely powerless to do anything except cheer from the sidelines? My feelings here ranged from real anxiety on Friday as we were trying to decide whether Mom should go or stay and not knowing exactly what the conditions were or, more importantly, what they were going to be, to envy and regret on Saturday that I couldn’t be there to enjoy being snowed in together, to worry again on Sunday when there still wasn’t heat or any way to drive anywhere and the temperature was dropping in the house. How often we have watched teenage or young adult children with the same emotions – anxiety not being able to help with a decision and not knowing the future, regret that we can’t be there to share an experience, and worry when things aren’t going as we expected and maybe even appearing to be getting worse. How often we have watched new converts, home teaching and visiting teaching families, and others we are working with in the Church in the same way.
It is good to know that if things get really bad there are good people around who can help. In this case we had neighbors who shared hot meals and helped when Joyce decided to leave. We had ward members who were concerned. Whenever I called we would be interrupted by other phone calls, usually from concerned ward members. It was good to have Jon’s home for a backup if Joyce could have gotten there. Jared and Daniel called to offer encouragement (thanks!). When you get teenagers you realize how valuable that support is. The genius of the Young Men/Young Women program is that you have someone there you can trust to teach correct principles to your children when you can’t be there yourself. The genius of the Church organization is that when all are doing their duty, the support is there for each one of us. The catch, of course, is that not all “concerned” helpers are faithful Church members teaching correct principles. Sometimes these voices are the hardest to counter and it at times becomes counterproductive to even suggest that they might be off the mark.
So this comes down to the final resort. Sometimes you are completely helpless and all that is left is prayer and faith. Can a person change the elements, get power restored, influence thoughts and actions of another, by praying and having faith? Will Dominion Power get our power back on sooner if I pray really hard about it tonight? Can I influence people I don’t even know who in turn influence the lives of a loved one? I know that it is not me doing the influencing, but will the Lord change things just because I ask him, no matter how sincere I am? The answer has to be “yes” or the scriptures would not tell us to do it.
This must be where faith comes in. Maybe it is not so much that we ask in faith as that we have faith, after we have asked, that the right thing will happen. Not necessarily that the thing that we want will happen, but that whatever happens the Lord will make it right. That is perhaps the hardest aspect of faith. How hard is it to see a situation develop that we don’t like or don’t agree with, and let it happen. When is it right to have faith that God is in charge, and when is it right to step in and try to change it? Should we always try to change things, right up to the last minute that we think we can? Do we have a moral obligation to do everything we can to make things right?
I don’t know the answer to these questions. It is perhaps the hardest tightrope there is to walk in our relationships. One difference between the Law of Christ and the Law of Moses is that Christ tells us that it is always our duty to do good without worrying about reward or consequences. On the other hand, I don’t recall any instance of Christ doing good for someone who didn’t want it.
Anyway, here I am forced to cheer from the sidelines as Joyce does battle with the elements. They have already issued another winter storm warning for Tuesday. At least she is warm and has good company for now.